


the myth behind winter and spring

by orphan_account



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Powers, F/M, Falling In Love, Healing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-28
Updated: 2011-12-28
Packaged: 2017-10-28 09:13:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/306305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which there is no such thing as gods, just Nico, forever loving and leaving.<br/>(This is Nico/Percy, with past!Annabeth/Percy and a Luke/Percy sex-into-friendship bit!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	the myth behind winter and spring

 

 

_2011_

_*******_

_  
_

Nico showed up one day in early December. Percy had no idea where he came from, or who he was. He just showed up and never left.

 

///

 

Annabeth dropped by. It hurt a little less every time; this time, it hurt like being chopped to pieces by a plane turbine. She'd broken up with him almost a year ago, on January 15th. It had been right after they'd walked through the grocery store downtown to fill up Percy's fridge, but before he'd locked himself in his bathroom and cried for four hours.

He'd thought he would die. He didn't.

Percy liked to share his thoughts, so that was probably why he told Nico about all of this, as if trying to cover any silence that might spring up between them. Afterwards, Nico scowled every time he saw her for a while. But it was Annabeth; she was impossible to dislike. He warmed up to her, and after some time, whenever Percy came home in the evening after work, or school, or just a walk in the streets, he found them sitting on opposing ends of the table, playing poker for peanuts.

On one such evening, when it was just the three of them and Nico was curled up on the couch watching the small TV screen, she took him aside. "You need to find out his name, at least," she said, looking worried. It was almost Christmas, and Percy had turned eighteen not four months ago. It would be the first Christmas in his own apartment. He was glad he wouldn't have to spend it alone.

"I don't care about his name," he told her truthfully.

"But it could be important. He could be..."

"What?"

Annabeth shrugged awkwardly. She was so beautiful, but there had always been something awkward about her. It was what made him love her even more. His chest hurt.

 

///

 

Nico liked jelly cakes and peanut butter straight out of the jar. It made Percy think of that movie Annabeth had shown him right after she'd first met Nico, the one where the hot guy licked peanut butter off a spoon. Percy got the punch line - the guy was supposed to be Death -, but he didn't think it was very funny.

Nico was thin to the point of starvation, and his black hair was hanging from his scalp in stringy curls, making his sunken eyes look even more like part of a bony skull. The first time Percy had seen him, he'd thought he was going to die. The first time Percy had seen him, Nico had been curled up on the couch just like he was now, but his eyes had been closed and he'd been asleep, his breathing ragged. The three-foot-long iron sword that had been at his feet was safely hidden in the back of Percy's closet now. It had scared him then, until he'd realized Nico would never hurt anyone.

Annabeth went home, and Percy sat down on the couch next to him. Nervous energy thrummed through him, so he pulled Nico's feet in his lap, and ran a hand over the gentle curves. He had nice feet, small and covered with blisters, as if he hadn't walked much at all until recently.

Nico gave a little moan that made Percy's ears burn, and said, "She's upset about me being here."

"She likes you," Percy replied, because it was true.

Nico snorted, but he didn't say anything after that, just wriggled until he found the perfect position. He fell asleep on Percy's ratty old couch as if it was the bedding of princes.

 

///

 

Percy couldn't afford feeding two people. His apartment wasn't made for two people. He had no time to take care of two people, and he hadn't thought he would be spending Christmas Eve as two people ever again. And yet, here they were.

Three weeks after his arrival, Nico's olive skin was smooth and clean, his hair home-cut and shiny after regular washings. He was still skinny, but his eyes were alert now, a little wild and excited as he unpacked the three presents Percy had wrapped in old newspaper. He wanted to see those dark eyes light up, wanted to see a smile cross Nico's face, just the once.

"I didn't get you anything," Nico said slowly as he stared at the picture book, and he didn't smile at all. The corners of his mouth were trembling. He was wearing the wool sweater on his back, had the phone clutched in his right hand. "I didn't know..."

Percy smiled, uncertain. "That's okay," he said. "I just wanted to give you something."

Nico swallowed heavily, and then nodded. He spent the next hour carefully going through the picture book, tracing every page with his finger, reading aloud as if he was parsing every single letter of every single word.

Percy watched him, fighting the never-ceasing urge to move, and ate the chocolate he'd bought that, as it turned out, Nico didn't like.

Later that night, when he was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, fingers playing a steady rhythm onto his covers, he heard someone tiptoe through the apartment. He pretended to be asleep when Nico went to the closet and got the sword out. Percy pretended to be asleep when Nico put it back and his naked feet approached the bed with muffled steps. He pretended to be asleep when Nico gently pulled back the covers and climbed in, lying there stiff as a board; and as Nico slowly curled up, the position that seemed to be the most comfortable for him wherever he lay.

He pretended to wake up when Nico, after what had to have been hours, uncurled, trying to slip out, but only enough to make a sound of protest and put his arm around him, pulling him close.

He didn't need to pretend after that.

 

///

 

Nico didn't talk very much. He wore black, except when he was at home. Then he wore Percy's sweater, which was blue like the sea. When he talked, it was usually to ask Percy questions while they were eating dinner, or after, in front of the TV. It wasn't that either of them was watching anything in particular, or with rapt interest; it was just that the bright moving images distracted them from the fact that there should be something else they should be doing. Percy could never figure out what.

"Is there anyone," Nico once asked, and stopped. Percy waited patiently until he could go on, watching the next scene unfold on TV, until Nico added, "Besides Annabeth?"

Percy mulled that over for a moment, not because the answer would have been any different, but because he really wanted to figure out what Nico wanted to know. The tone was so unidentifiable however that he gave up soon and just said, "No."

"Why not?"

Percy thought back to the phone call a few years back, the world collapsing around him brick by brick, turning ashen and grey. He had nightmares about the car tires squealing sometimes, even though he hadn't been anywhere near the accident site. Sometimes he wished he had been. He said, "I don't like it when people leave."

Nico turned his head and caught his gaze. There was something in his eyes that should have warned Percy, but he was blind, and his heart had always had its own reasons. His mind never stood a chance.

 

////

 

Annabeth could swear like a drunken sailor from Tortuga. When she found out, she cursed Nico's name to hell and back, all while hugging Percy tightly. Percy squeezed his eyes shut. It had been a year, two months and three days since he'd last had this. By all means, it should have hurt like getting his head slammed into a concrete wall, but compared to the new planet-sized monster in his stomach eating at him from the inside, it was like a pinprick to his thumb.

"He left his phone," he told her, clutching it in his hand almost as hard as Nico had when Percy had given it to him. "He took everything else." When he'd found the sword gone, he'd known immediately. Nico was gone. Not taken, not lost - just, _moved on_.  
"That little bastard son of a three-headed, ugly hyena, if I find him -"

"Annabeth," Percy interrupted her.

She fell silent then, but not without an angry growl.

She stayed the summer in the city; Percy was there, and she had an internship at SOM downtown. He knew she would have preferred an internship at a smaller, more intimate architectural firm, but this would be better for her CV, she said. And she was doing what she loved. She always said that last part, looking at Percy like she was expecting him to tell her what he loved. There was nothing he could tell her that would have pleased her, though. He didn't have anything. College was boring him, and he only worked at the animal shelter because he loved animals, not because he loved working with them.

All the same, he was glad she was there. His apartment felt too empty now, and he caught himself staying in his corner of the couch even though the other side wasn't occupied.

By August, she'd fallen in love with one of the bright, ambitious architects at the firm, a young man named Daniel who was, in Percy's opinion, a complete tool. He believed in this steadfastedly until the day they met, and then he had to admit that Daniel was actually kind, and generous, and also really gorgeous. Annabeth had great taste.

"I hate him," he told her quite often. She always smiled, and she never said what he knew they were both thinking, which was that it was time for him to move on.

 

///

 

 

2012

*******

 

Nico came back in mid-November. He looked older and his eyes were hooded. He was carrying a little backpack filled with money and clutching that ridiculous sword, as if determined to stick out the storm.

Percy didn't have the energy to leave him sitting on the top step of the stairs. After a first shock second, he passed him without a glance, but he left the door ajar before he went to his room, where he buried under his sheets and stared at the first page of 'The Thief of Time' until the letters blurred in front of his eyes. Since they made very little sense most of the time anyway, it wasn't that big a change.

He wasn't surprised when Nico appeared in his room's doorway soon after.

"Percy," he said, voice soft and full of pity.

Percy almost broke the book's spine, fighting not to hurl it at Nico. He didn't need pity. He didn't _want_ anything, really, except for people to leave him alone. Instead of saying that, he asked, "Why did you come back?"

He could see Nico's lips curl, just slightly, not a smile but something very similar. "Because you're the only person who wouldn't ask me why I left," he said, and it wasn't what Percy wanted to hear, not by far, but it was enough for now.

 

///

 

Percy had never known his father, but he always imagined him as someone patient and steady, a little forgetful but with kind eyes and a deep love for all waters. Percy imagined he'd probably inherited the latter from him, because whenever he took a walk, he found himself by the seaside soon, drawn to the waves like a fish caught in a net. He wondered if there was seafolk down there, mermaids and a king, and if he would have fit better down there than up here.

His mother had always called him a dreamer and stroked his hair, proud of the same fact that made so many people frown in disapproval. He missed her, her strong hands and her quick wit. He constantly missed her. Sometimes he wondered if he'd fallen for Annabeth because she was the same, and if they'd broken up because she wasn't.

Nico didn't judge. He sat on the edge of the harbor and let his naked feet dangle in the water while Percy spoke. He didn't interrupt until Percy was finished, and then he took Percy's hand and said, "I hope you find him, some day."

 

///

 

Nico, unsurprisingly, could be a brat. He never cleaned up his clothes after himself. He never listened to Percy when Percy told him he wasn't allowed to drink coffee, or stay out past midnight, or follow him to the animal shelter and then bring a kitten home that Percy had to take back the next day. He was also, as Percy soon learned, unquestionably, inexplicably fifteen. Percy had decided on this age one day, firstly because he looked not a day older than that, and secondly, even though Nico insisted he was at least a century old, he had no proof to back that up.

Percy couldn't remember if he'd thought about sex this much, when he was fifteen. But then, he had to admit that he still thought about sex quite a lot _now_ ; just not as vocally as Nico did, who turned up the volume of the porn on the TV that came on at night, who had no shame jerking off on the couch in the middle of the day as if waiting for Percy to stumble upon him, and who, when asked, shrugged and said, "Better than to walk around with a hard-on all day."

"I live here, too," Percy snapped at him, not at all in the mood to be patient. He was tired and cold and his professor had once again cornered him about choosing a major after class. The heater in the apartment kept breaking, and the decorations which he'd asked Nico to hang up, to make it seem at least a little more festive, were still scattered across the floor, never touched. "So keep your dick to yourself."

Nico's fine eyebrow rose. "You should try it sometime," he said slowly, moving his hollowed fist up and down. "Seems like Annabeth's not getting you laid enough."

Percy felt himself redden from mortification and anger. "That's none of your business," he said coldly. "And since this is my apartment, and you're the one freeloading, I suggest you start following my rules." Then he turned on his heel and stalked to his room, slamming his door shut behind himself.

Nico was right, of course. He hadn't had sex for almost two years; and with Nico here now, he couldn't find a few minutes by himself to get down to business. But it wasn't just that. He'd had no trouble getting himself off thinking about Annabeth, before. There'd been some residue guilt, but he knew her body, knew how she tasted, how she felt under his fingertips. She wouldn't mind, he knew that. It was when he'd started fantasizing about Nico that he'd stopped doing it altogether.

It was ridiculous, of course. He couldn't - it was _really_ wrong, it felt dirty, and Nico was _fifteen_. It was ridiculous not to jerk off at all, though, so after a few minutes of fuming, Percy laid back on his bed, slipping his hand down his pants and closed his eyes. Not Annabeth. No girls, strangely. Not lately. But there was this one guy in Percy's class, slim and dark-haired and pretty. Percy imagined kissing him, and that was better. That worked.

Half an hour later, a soft knock on the door made him sit up, embarrassed but happily mellow around the edges. Nico slipped in. He was biting his lip. He didn't say anything about the state of things, just flushed and said, "I'm sorry."

The next day when Percy got home, the laundry was done, the kitchen was clean and together, they put up a few branches of mistletoe and pine, entwined with little ribbons and angel shapes they cut from paper, hanging them here and there from the ceiling. It wasn't much, but Nico had apparently never done it before, and it reminded Percy of decorating the apartment with his mom every winter when he was little.

Later, Annabeth brought a box of cookies and two bottles of eggnog, and Percy thought back to that night as one of the best, even though teaching Nico Christmas carols proved to be a complete disaster since neither of them could actually sing.

 

///

 

Annabeth had been far slower to forgive Nico. It was, Percy thought, the prerogative of a best friend. She was also far too perceptive.

"Percy," she opened, as she often did. She'd always liked his name, said there was something about it that suited him, that he was knightly and valiant, and always searching for the Holy Grail. Percy never told her that that wasn't actually what his name was short for.

She'd invited him for lunch, her break and his coinciding. She had a lot of money, suddenly, and it was a fancy place, classy and understated, just the way she liked it. He'd worried that it would change her, the firm, the money, but she still showed up on his doorstep more often than not wearing an old hand-me-down hoodie and worn-down jeans. She just brought two bags of groceries along now.

Percy watched a group of young people enter and wondered why he wasn't like them. Why couldn't he do that, that thing they did that made them find a handful of others who were enough like them, that they wanted to spend time together exploring their sharedness. He had Annabeth, but he'd never found anyone like her; and Nico.

"Percy?"

"Yes?" He returned her gaze openly. She looked concerned.

"I - look, don't take this the wrong way, but there's something I wanted to ask you," she said. She didn't sound like she _wanted_ to ask him.

"Just ask," he said. It couldn't be any more horrible than when she'd said she wanted to break up with him.

Annabeth nodded. "All right." She took a breath. "Are you gay?"

Percy blinked. "You mean, right now?"

Her eyebrows drew together in frustration. "I understand if you think it's none of my -"

"Oh, come on. You're my best friend. Don't be like that." Percy saw her shoulders drop at the words, like she _hadn't known_ , and for someone who was so brilliant, she sure could be fucking dumb. "But it's not - it's not like asking me about my eye color, you know?"

Annabeth nodded again, but she didn't look like she knew at all.

"I guess the easy answer would be that yes, sometimes I am. On some days more than on others. But. Don't think that I didn't – that when I was with you, that I didn't -"

"No, I didn't think that!" she interrupted, startled. "I didn't think that at all. I - we were _good_."

"We were."

"But Nico." Annabeth paused. She hadn't wanted to say that much, Percy could tell. "I just don't want you to get hurt."

Percy looked around, feet bobbing under the table, anything not to have to look her in the eye while he said, "It's nothing. I'm not anything. I'm fine."

Before she could reply, one of the girls handed them menus, and thankfully, Annabeth didn't pursue it further.

 

///

 

Nico held out longer this time, though he kept vanishing more often. A few times, he stayed out for days, and only the sword in the back of Percy's closet reassured him that he wasn't gone for good.

Then, one weekend in April, the sword was gone as well. Percy stared inside the closet, mutely categorizing the sensations floating through him into anger, disappointment, hurt and a longing so strong, he didn't know what to do with himself.

Then he got his jacket, went to a sports store, bought a punching bag and spent the next hour in his apartment, hitting things. It didn't make him feel better, but it bloodied his knuckles, and that distracted him from the pain in his chest.

Annabeth found out a few days later when she came by. She didn't use the punching bag. She said, "Oh no, Jackson, I'm waiting for the real deal."

 

///

 

 

_2013_

*******

 

Percy wasn't the type to play the blame-game, but Annabeth had taken him to the club, so in hindsight, it really was her fault. He let her off the hook easy, though. He was turning twenty, and he'd felt like he should properly celebrate. He was also, as Annabeth told him, handsome, a freshly eligible college drop-out, and _really fit_ , ever since he'd started training the martial arts properly. He deserved some fun.

The boy Percy picked up was older, experienced. He was blond, grey-eyed like Annabeth, and he fucked Percy like it was the most important thing he would ever do in his life. He was beautiful. He'd danced on winged feet, moved like a god with his smooth muscled body writhing in the mass of people around him. When Percy asked his name, he said, "Luke. Just Luke."

They'd come down from their second round, were making out in the kitchen against the fridge, naked, Luke's cock hard against Percy's thigh, when a key turned in the lock and of course, with impeccable timing, there was Nico, standing in the doorway, black hair longer now, falling into his shocked eyes.

Percy gripped Luke's waist and ignored the icy hand closing around his heart. Luke was warm against him, the skin of his abs sticky from earlier release.

"You're back," Percy heard himself say, and his voice was calmer than he'd thought it would be, perfectly even. "I thought I'd lost that key."

"Yes," Nico said, eyes trained on Luke. "I can see that." Luke shifted under his gaze, but was kept where he was by the strength of Percy's fingers.

"I think you should leave," Percy said.

Something in Nico's eyes hardened. He turned without a word.

"Leave the keys."

They fell to the floor with a clink. The door closed softly.

Luke stepped away from Percy, exposing him to the air, taking his heat with him. He was soft now, though his lips were still kissably red and swollen. "That wasn't awkward or anything," he said, half-teasing, half-serious. "Want to talk about it?"

Percy snorted. "Not under torture. Would you..." he hesitated, not sure what he wanted.

"I can leave, it's not a -"

"No," Percy decided. "No, please. Just, go back to bed? I'll be there in a sec."

When Luke was gone, he put his elbows on the kitchen table, buried his head in his hands and gave one tired, frustrated sob. Then he picked himself back up, pushed everything Nico into a tidy little box that he kept well-buried in the back of his mind, and went to his room. He had a gorgeous boy in his bed, seduced and ready to gift himself to Percy, over and over and over again.

 

///

 

Luke, of course, couldn't help but ask about Nico the next morning, while they were sitting at the breakfast table.

It all came bubbling to the surface and once Percy started, he couldn't stop. He half-expected Luke to pack up and flee ten minutes into the story, because it wasn't exactly one-night-stand etiquette; Luke didn't seem intent on leaving though. He just ate one piece of toast after the next, slathering them with cream cheese, jam, peanut butter and Nutella, listening intently.

The doorbell interrupted the story at the point when Percy was telling Luke how he'd taken up boxing, and started thinking about dropping out of school. They both looked up, Luke curious, Percy surprised.

"Nico again?" Luke asked, sounding almost hopeful. Percy shot him a dirty look, then got up to check.

It was, indeed, Nico. And Annabeth. She had him by the arm, and guided him inside once she had a foot in the door.

"Whoa," Luke said, at the same time Nico said, "What's he still doing here?"

"What happened?" Percy asked, and nodded at the massive shiner around Nico's left eye. It was purple and swollen, almost black above his cheek.

Nico shrugged. "Your girlfriend needs some anger management classes."

"She's not my girlfriend," Percy said through clenched teeth at the same time Annabeth crossed her arms in front of her chest and said, "My expression of my anger was perfectly justified."

"She _hit_ you?" Luke asked and straightened his shoulders. He looked deeply upset. "That's not okay!"

Annabeth managed to hold his gaze for a few seconds before she dropped her eyes, looking shame-faced. "You're right," she admitted. "But he just left! _Again!_ After everything Percy did -"

"Okay, that's enough," Percy interrupted. Too much drama happening around his kitchen table. "That's enough. Everyone sit down. Yes, Nico, you too, I'm not going to hit you. I might challenge you to a swordfight later; right now, it's still brunch time. Annabeth, Nico, this is Luke. Luke, my best friend Annabeth and - well. You know all about Nico."

Nico frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Luke gave Nico a friendly smirk. "It means I'm at least ten years older than you are, and that means I know everything."

"I'm not _five_ ," Nico told him with a glare.

Luke shrugged and picked up his revoltingly slathered toast to take another bite. "You might want to start acting that way, then."

Annabeth hiccupped to hide a laugh. Percy rolled his eyes at all of them and went to make more tea.

 

///

 

Nico stayed even after both Annabeth and Luke had left. He helped clean up, which Percy didn't expect, and then leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms in front of his chest. He looked sullen and betrayed.

"Is this what we're going to be like, then?" Percy asked, rubbing at a dirty spot on the table, not giving into the look on Nico's face, not apologizing. There was nothing to feel guilty about.

"I don't have to stay, if you don't want me here," Nico said. He didn't seem half as convinced as he sounded. There was a vulnerable expression in his eyes that made Percy wince at his earlier malice.

"I just don't understand," he said. "Why stay here at all when there are other places you could be? Why the whole pretense of caring if you don't give a fuck about anything?"

Nico's lips were pressed into a thin line. "I don't pretend," he said.

"Yeah? Well, that's not good enough."

"What would be good enough?" Nico asked harshly. He pushed away from the counter at his back and approached Percy with a wild look in his eyes, something terrible moving underneath the surface. "If I had the looks of a young god, if I was bigger, and stronger? If I could fuck you through your mattress? Because I can do that, if that's what you want."

He was close enough that their noses were almost touching, staring at Percy on level. Percy hadn't even noticed that he'd grown to the same height, not until now. He looked hurt, and furious, and it wasn't fair, it wasn't fair that Percy had to be the adult here. He'd just turned twenty, and he didn't feel like an adult all.

He took a step back. "I don't want that," he said softly, and saw Nico's gaze waver. The desperation crumbled away, leaving a strange sort of blankness that was similar to the hollow void he'd seen when they'd first met.

Percy reached out, wanting to vanish that blankness, and touched Nico's cheek with his thumb, forcing his chin up. "Nico, I have no idea what I want," he said honestly. "I have no idea why I let you stay, or why I like you the way I do. I just – I guess I just don't want you to leave."

Nico looked lost. "But I always come back!"

And that was true, cruel as it was. Percy looked at him, at his dark eyes and his beautiful lips, the way they curled, pink and full, and said, "You know, you're the strangest person I've ever met."

 

///

 

Luke stayed in touch. It should have been weirder than it turned out to be. Maybe it was because they didn't kiss again, and they didn't fuck again. Instead, Luke joined in sometimes when Annabeth made plans for dinner, and he got along better with Daniel than any one of them, which was just annoying. He also sometimes took Percy to the movies to watch explosions and dragons, and that was very nice.

Nico never said a word, but it bothered him, Percy could tell. When he asked Luke about this, Luke stared at him for a little while, mouth half-open, then threw his head back and laughed.

"What?" Percy asked, jabbing him with his elbow. "Why are you laughing, what's so funny?"

"You," Luke said, and rolled his eyes at Percy's offended face. "He doesn't like me, genius, because you and I had sex, and he's in love with you. Didn't you tell me you used to hate Daniel for having Annabeth? It's the same thing."

Percy shook his head mechanically. "It's not the same thing at all. It's – he's a kid! It's not – he's never said anything! And anyway, he's just going to leave again in a few months."

Luke's amusement vanished. He looked serious suddenly, almost thoughtful. "That doesn't sound like a no to me," he said. "Can't say I'm surprised."

"What? No, that was a no. That was a no way! And anyway, you're old, you know everything, so whatever, surprise or not, tell me what I should do to fix this!"

Luke shrugged. "Forget he's a kid. Sure, he acts like a teenager sometimes, but other times, he acts like an old man. He's sixteen, you're twenty, it's not like the age difference is huge. And as for him leaving again. Yeah, he probably will."

"Yes. That."

"So why not make the best of the time you have right now?"

"I hate you," Percy said. "You are so useless at this. You're supposed to be talking me out of this. He's like my little brother."

"Now, don't say that," Luke said. "You'll feel really awkward remembering you said that once you're fucking him."

"I'm not going to be fucking him," Percy insisted, and leaned back into his seat. "And now shut up, the movie's starting."

"Oh thank god," someone behind them said, and Percy flushed red-hot. Luke just laughed.

 

///

 

It explained the silent way Nico sometimes came into his room at night to curl up beside him. It might have been brotherly comfort, but then they would have talked about it. Instead, it felt like something forbidden, laden with innuendo.

"I hate that you're always right," Percy told Annabeth over coffee after another such night where he hadn't caught a wink of sleep, his mind running on full.

Annabeth smiled. "You love it, don't lie."

"Not anymore! I used to love it, and then you went and met _Daniel_ -"

"- who you like."

"Can't help it that you have impeccable taste in men," Percy said, a little disgruntled but also proud, because, well. She'd chosen him, too.

Annabeth's smile grew wider. "Unlike you. You could have Luke, I'm just saying."

"No, I couldn't."

"No, you couldn't."

Percy sighed. Luke knew all his own deficiencies. Being crap at relationships was apparently one of them; he'd been very upfront about that. Not that Percy really wanted Luke. He wondered if life would have been easier or more complicated, if he did.

"Just talk to him," Annabeth said gently.

"I talk to him all the time," Percy reminded her.

" _Nico_ ," she corrected. "Talk to Nico. He doesn't deserve you at all, in my opinion, but if that's what you want, it's what you want. Life's too short to spend it mooning."

And that was the truth. Percy thought back to his parents and felt for the strand of time that was always running through his fingers, always slipping away, second after second, a constant reminder.

///

Nico was sitting on the couch when he came home. The sword was lying across his lap, and Percy's heart skipped a beat at the sight, running a spike of fear and loneliness up his spine. He didn't back away, though. He sat down next to Nico, and only then noticed that he was also holding a book.

It was the picture book Percy had given him two years ago, worn around the edges, some of the pages ripped or stained. But it was there, whole, and Nico had kept it, taken it with him wherever he vanished off to into the world.

"Listen," Nico said, and read,

He read slowly but steadily, a big improvement on last year. When he was finished, he kept his head down. His knuckles were white where he was clutching the edges of the cover. When Percy reached for his hand, Nico got it right away, letting go, intertwining their fingers. He didn't look up from the lock of their hands, and his hair fell into his face when he said, "You know that's what it's like, when I leave, right? For me. That's –"

"Why me?" Percy asked. "Why pick me, out of the billions of people?"

"Why me?" Nico replied easily. His knee was jittering, jostling the book with each motion. "Why keep me? Would you have let anyone else stay?"

"I don't understand," Percy said, but he did. There was something drawing them together, something invisible and ancient and powerful. He looked at the sword and then away.

"I saw you. Of the hundreds of people passing me on that street corner, I saw you. You're so bright." Nico was smiling.

Percy didn't say anything. He leaned in and caught that smile on his lips before it could vanish, because he never wanted to lose it again. It was the only way he could think of keeping it close.

Nico breathed out with a little sigh. The smile stayed in place, even though his eyes were unsure. "I can't stay," he started. "I'm sorry, but –"

"I don't care," Percy said. "You'll come back."

Nico nodded. "I'll tell you, one day. I promise. I'll tell you what I'm looking for."

And until then, Percy wouldn't ask. He would stay, and train, and learn, and maybe try to find more; more of those people that were different, like Annabeth, like Luke. And then, one day, maybe they could figure it out.

 

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Written as a Christmas Gift to antistar and finkpishnets 2011


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